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Monday 19 April 2010

Raucus Hallelujachorus, a centurion taken at his word

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For Raucus Hallelujachorus, centurion at the Totorum camp in Asterix in Spain, negotiating with the Gauls is a real ordeal.

But when Asterix and Obelix steal his young Iberian hostage Pepe away from him, he has no other choice than to go to the village of those crazy Gauls to recover his precious prisoner.

Knowing tact to be of the essence when dealing with the Gauls, he decides to make a discreet visit, tiptoeing quietly into the village at naptime.

But he’s out of luck: when Spurius Brontosaurus tactlessly hollers “Attack!”, triggering a counter-attack that gives the Gauls the last word in this negotiation.

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Friday 5 March 2010

Nefarius Purpus, a centurion at his wits end.

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On secondment as head to the 1st legion, 3rd cohort, 2nd manipule, 1st century, Nefarius Purpus has been put through the mill with his new recruits, including an Egyptian who thinks the army is a holiday village, a Greek obsessed with renegotiating his pay and two Indomitable Gauls determined to do exactly as they please!

Asterix and Obelix, newly inducted as legionaries in an effort to free Falbala’s fiancé Tragicomix, take charge of operations with this dissipated legion and unexpectedly win a victory for Caesar against Scipio’s armies, thereby putting an end to Nefarius Purpus’s problems!

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Wednesday 10 February 2010

Gluteus Maximus, rising star

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The Roman Army maintains the cult of excellence. Legionaries are duty-bound to be the best trained, the strongest, the most disciplined. So you can imagine how proud Gluteus Maximus is when he is selected to represent Rome at the Olympic Games

“I am the best!” he exclaims. Yes, but… An encounter in the forest with Gauls brimming with magic potion soon makes him forget his dreams of grandeur! Gluteus feels like a “loser” and starts vigorously sweeping the Aquarium camp instead of practicing his sport.

A good sport, Asterix finally decides to hand over his winner’s laurels and Gluteus Maximus ends up being named centurion by Caesar. And so, for once: Gloria victis, or glory to the vanquished.

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Monday 1 February 2010

A character with a dog’s life!

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When the Vikings fall for a dog, it is of course a Great Dane!

Like its masters, Huntingseassen talks in a language full of Nordic typographical characters.

But whereas the Gauls don’t understand a word of the Scandinavian language, Dogmatix and Huntingseassen quickly begin exchanging friendly “woofs” and “wøøfs”.

Followed by one of the greatest fits of canine giggles of all time!

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Friday 22 January 2010

Prize Psychologist

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“You have all the necessary qualities to participate in the first offensive of psychological warfare”, claims mischief maker Tortuous Convolvulus. To judge by his “gorilla-like face and tiny pig’s eyes”, as René Goscinny put it, this prediction was far from certain….

But “psychological warfare” as referred to by Tortuous Convolvulus requires first and foremost a powerful man, talented in wielding a club. And that is the one thing in which Magnumopus actually excels!

Oblivious to any military strategy, Magnumopus plows forward, swinging his club and eliminating all adversaries. It’s enough to frighten our Gauls who begin to wonder if the Romans have gotten their hands on the secret magic potion!

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Monday 21 December 2009

It’s spainful!

Encyclopedia

« My papa is the strongest papa in the world and that idiot Jules Caesar is afraid of my papa”: this is how Pepe describes his father to the Indomitable Gauls!

His father is the proud Huevos y Bacon, the head of a small town not far from Munda (Montilla), the only village in all of Hispania to have continued to resist the Roman invaders. Does this sound familiar?

When speaking to Caesar, Huevos y Bacon does not mince his words: “If I get my hands on you, Roman, I’ll cook you in olive oil!”

No doubt about it, the Spanish know how to go about grilling their enemies!

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